Feel free to make the appropriate word substitutions for comic effect.
| Taoism | Stuff Happens |
| Hunduism | This Stuff Happened Before |
| Islam | If Stuff Happens, Take A Hostage |
| Buddhism | When Stuff Happens Is It Really Stuff |
| 7th Day Adventists | Stuff Happens On Saturday |
| Protestantism | Stuff Won't Happen If I Work Harder |
| Catholicism | If Stuff Happens, I Deserve It |
| Jehovah's Witness | Knock, Knock, "Stuff Happens" |
| Judaism | Why Does Stuff Alwasy Happen To Me? |
| Hare Krishna | Stuff Happens Rama Rama Ding Dong |
| Atheism | No Stuff |
| TV Evangelism | Send More Stuff |
| Rastafarianism | Let's Smoke This Stuff |